Do you walk in the door late at night, finding your significant other and/or children asleep, your dinner drying out in the oven? You promise yourself that tomorrow will be different; you’ll make it home in time to connect with your family and share stories about your days. You vow to keep this promise to your loved ones, but more importantly, to yourself.
Feeling out of balance leads to feeling out of control, in conflict (internally and with loved ones), and this can, at times lead to depression and burn-out. You really have no other choice but strike a better balance.
You’ve been trained to give selflessly for long hours, however, you now have a choice to make.
Ask yourself, what do I long for? Create not from circumstance but from possibility. What’s possible here? More time for family, fun, professional development, the next promotion, exercise, peace and quiet, time for ME? I can hear you saying, I don’t have any extra time to do this, no time to work toward achieving better balance.
The desire to change must come first, then, very importantly, followed by a change in your behavior, that’s where the plan and structure comes in. Here are some ideas to help, below:
WHAT’S NEEDED TO MAKE A CHANGE:
- Desire: do you want to make a change in your current situation?
- Choice: know that this choice is yours to make. It’s your life, and only you may choose to change it.
- Clarity: ask yourself what you want to be different? The break it down into specifics and write it down (into your planner, calendar, journal, wherever you’ll see it) on a regular basis.
- Perspective Shift: it’s time to see your life from a new perspective/lens (as in a new pair of glasses). The old ones are dusty or the prescription is outdated so remove them and clean them off or find a new pair through which to view your life in a clearer way.
- Plan: create a plan and/or a set of goals to help you get to this new and improved place. Set smaller, realistic goals at the beginning (i.e. dinner one night/week at home or one recreational activity/week with a loved one or yourself).
- Structure: this is a reminder for you. Identify a word/photo/thing/quote/visual to remind you of the new path that you’ve chosen to walk down (example: put a photo of your children/spouse/partner/animal next to your computer so you’re reminded about what or who you want to get home to. Or set your phone alarm for twice a day: the first is when you need to begin to wrap up your day and second: when you need to be walking out of work for the day.
KEEPING THE BALANCE
Your balance today might not be your definition of balance a year from now. Re-assessing your balance on an annual basis (maybe at the start of the new calendar or academic year, or at your annual work evaluation) is crucial. Make an appointment with yourself to do this. Imagine commuting home on time, knowing that you have the evening ahead of you to unwind, connect and feel in balance.
If any of this is resonating with you, it’s time to make a choice to create better balance in your life. Contact me and we’ll figure it out together. Here’s to creating from what’s possible!